tired

that's what i have been feeling this whole week. fatigue. restless. aches all over the body.

i wonder is everyone experincing the same thing? or is it just me?

i definitely need exercise! going to bed now.

got this from andy's blog. too many people are looking for the right person, instead of being the right person. andy said he got it from the net. not too sure of the source as well. but those words did strucked me.

hemorrhoid

waaaaaa.... it's scary and i seem to be having it. oh no!!! this is a bad! freaky!

the healing procedures sound so scary. surgery's the last last last option. i'm scared of surgery. i dun even like going to dentist very much. yea... i know i look tough, but as my mum said "u're scared of everything".

emergency dietary changes. more liquids and more leafy green vegetables. and also consistant oral and external medication.

please do not click on the link above if you cannot take medical explanations well. and please do not try to ignore the warnings.

monogamous relationship

saw quite a sight yesterday. someone that i know (let's say he's not my good friend) was with his new younger girl. she was prettier and full of confidence. he held her hand tight with pride, striding off the mall like a wind. hmnn... life's like that isn't it?

a week or so ago, i asked my christian male collegue if it was okay for a christian to express feelings (verbally, by action or unintentionally) for someone who is already in a relationship, but not yet married. he did not give me a straight answer, but what i perceive was that it should be okay if the other party is not yet married. i asked him, isn't it sinful? to be thinking of someone's belongings? his reply was... "even thinking of someone's pen is sin..."

deep down, i am still unsure. even if the other someone is in a bad relationship, does it mean that we can do that to them? is that tempting them? is that what pastor dave meant by the lust of the flesh?

the world's really full of different kind of people. one of my male cousin would consider a girl going out with a guy alone to movie as kind of adultry. i kind of agree with him in some ways, cos i feel that there is no pure friendship between a guy and a girl. friendship between a guy and a girl usually starts with one of them liking the other, but the other has little or no response. since there's no chance of relationship, friendship would be good as well. it's something like that i guess. there is bound to be some sort of uh-uh-ah-ah feeling of attraction some point in time.

but that's just what i'm thinking now. i may well change my perceptive soon.

25 soon!

have not been to gym for weeks. MUST go tomorrow, as in later this evening. geez, i feel so ugly right now. was having a hard time deciding what to wear just then, cos everything looked yikes!

will be 25 in another 40 days. arghhhhhhh!!! time's running out. wrinkles may start appearing soon. someone recommend me anti-aging or anti-eyebag cream maybe? cos i am only using moisturizer right now. and that's only when i remember to.

hmnn... where should i celebrate my birthday? and most importantly, the question for me to ponder about before this birthday: my purpose in life?

god? family? career? friends? i guess that basically summerizes everything eh? of cos, things like shoes, bags and dining cannot be left out.

i yearn to be a dedicated christian, fillial daughter, loving wife, caring mother and successful kitchen godess. something like nigella lawson kind of kitchen goddess yea (not the kind who stays at home with messy hair and oily face). but that's more like a dream for now. something near that would be satisfying too.

music: sakura no kino shita de - tsuji ayono

burrrpp....

feeling bloated right now. can't even lie down on the bed. i guess i have been putting a lot of things into my mouth today. 4-5 glasses of water. nasi lemak. kangkung. japanese octopus ball. ice latte. italian soda. sate tulang. tenderloin beef. bread with chocolate, sweetened condensed milk and cheese. melon juice. salad. and finally a cup of hot japanese green tea.

although it was only a little of this and a little of that, here and there. i still feel bloated. maybe it's my gastric. due to the delicious ice latte from coffee tree. my pathetic tummy cannot handle even a latte now. arrgh...

i was planning on a full force shopping spree today. too bad it did not happen cos honey's bf was feeling unwell. we had to pick him up and send him off to mitra hospital. doc said his heart rate was a little normal than usual and adviced him to reduce coffee consumption.

however, i still managed to walk around index for a little while. turns out the black waste basket that i wanted to get for our office was sold out. i bought a pair of gold shimmery sandals at schu. it had 50% off, so costs only 65 thousand. definitely a bargain.

also, i would like to state out my long time discovery here today. there is a particular kind of poeple, when you spend an hour with them they are still fun or okay to be with. and if you start spending more time with them, you start feeling annoyed by their actions. some people can be ignorant to other's feelings. when you feel like shutting down, they bombard dodo questions. or they will start asking questions that invades your privacy. or make some comment that will slit your heart with a small knife. it doesn't kill you, but it bothers you. most of them time they do not know how to act in situations. maybe it is not their fault, cos they are probably doing that unintentionally. cos they are not sensitive enough to read other's body language. my advice would be not to try to ignore these kind of people when they drive you nuts. in times like that, acting stupid could be the best remedy.

movies

watched madagascar at ph. it was light, easy and hilarious. met quite a lot of people today. starting from uncle 'cat' & family plus this guy who is a friend of my friend at tony romas. then wei wei, han han, jesse and friends at ph.

i am looking forward to mr. and mrs. smith. too bad hairy and kennie watched it yesterday. maybe i'll do it with nomat rate this coming monday. or any other weekday.

i still yearn for breville's juice fountain plus. when can i ever get it?

just friends?

is it okay for someone who is in a relationship to go out with an opposite sex for maybe a movie, simple dinner or just hanging out?

some said affair. some said just friends. some said slight attraction. some said boredom. some said depends on the frequency. what do you say?

i do not know for sure. but i'm bored! am i having one of those lust of the flesh syndrome?

the power of baking soda

do you know that baking soda could help septic system flowing freely. keep teeth clean and white. act as deodorant. absorbs odors instead of just covering them up. antacid to relieve heartburn, sour stomach and/or acid indigestion. helps remove the residue that styling products leave behind so our hair is cleaner and more manageable. dry bath for dogs to keep them fresh-smelling. mouth freshening effect. invigorating, yet gentle, facial scrub. cleaning bathroom floors. deodorize my thermos and my husbands lunch box. gets out all the everyday odors in the clothes. cleaning out sinks. deodrizer in my closets, fridge, ashtray in truck. tough cleaning on food caked dishes. cleaning bath tub scub. oven and stove cleaning. removing coffee stains from cups. remove odour from shoes. put in a tub and it makes your skin smooth. remove scuff marks from my lanolium floors. absorb musty smells from unused cars...

i was amazed.

btw, does anyone know what's baking soda in indonesia? soda roti? cos i can only find soda kue in the supermarket. and that's supposed to be baking powder right?

the slaughter of my blue suede shoes

went to this carnival at imperial golf club, lippo karawaci. i was expecting games, lots of fun and all the things you have in a carnival overseas. but this carnival turned out to be all muddy.

i had to take off my blue suede shoes to prevent from killing it. my feet was all muddy. those wet soil getting into my toe nails. anyway, we did what our main purpose there: visit henry's friend booth. joseph's gikoko booth was huge. served lots of food & drinks. one of the best was its tepanyaki beef. hairy kept eyeing for more.

carnival was okay. they had quite a number of booth, but we did not bother walking around because it was too inconvenient to get around with all those mud. people were playing soccer on the field. men vs women. the women are good, i must say. later, a bunch of men wearing scottish kilt played bagpipes and marched around the field. joseph said there were going to be fireworks later, but we were already running out of time.

afterwards, went to kev's house to wash our soiled feet. then off to ramli's place at gading serpong to see his newborn son, aaron. i personally think aaron looks handsome. he's only three days old but i can spot his good looks when i first saw him. had dinner at bento junction later and then back to henry's place before i went to pick mum up from the airport.

mum looked exhausted, but she said she had lots of fun with her secondary school mates. they had a reunion trip to bali. nice isn't it? to have a reunion holiday trip after so many years. 17 of them went. it was all rafting, hardrock, temporary tatoo, shopping, beaches and chats. nice to know that some people still put an effort to maintain friendship. still enjoy old friend's company. still have fun together. i hope i could have one of reunions when i get older next time.

church sermon

today's church was good. i was late, as usual. reached at 11.15 when the service started at 10.30. luckily enough i did not miss any of the sermon.

it started with david's testimonial of how he accepted god. it was a pretty pretty long road, and he fell into many pitfalls along the way... before he ended up with god. along those road, his grannie was the one who kept praying for him. if any of you have been praying for someone to accept god, but they seem to go further away. do not lose hope. keep praying. cos god do this that are beyond our imagination.

it was then followed by pastor dave kenney.

"do not love the world or the things in the world. if anyone loves the world, the love of the father is not in him. for all that is in the world--the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life--is not of the father but is of the world." john 2:15-16

the lust of the flesh = what i want to feel
the lust of the eyes = what i want to own
the lust of the life = what i want to rule

falling in love in indeed a great feeling. the excitements. going out together. holding hands for the very first time. and it would be really great if people trully fall in love with their spouse. the catch is, some people fall in love with "romance" itself and not their spouse. and once all those goo goo gaa gaa feelings soothes down, they go looking for that feelings again. but this time with other people and not their own spouse. that is, the lust of the flesh.